I know, I know, it's been months since I've posted anything. And I truly am sorry, mostly to myself for being such a big butt head (pun intended). It's been difficult finding the motivation to blog when I'm so freakin' busy and miserable at work. The thought of staring in front of a computer screen, even for 30 more minutes seems like torture most days. However, I have not abandoned you, my few but mighty followers.
It's 2011, a brand-spankin' new year. And as most people do, the top of the new year's resolution charts is always lose weight! And, of course, that is also my resolution. It's been my resolution for over 15 years, as is most of us. Well, I haven't given up.
One thing I have realized that distinguishes between a Resolution and a Wish is that Resolutions are goals that can be accomplished because you have absolute control in reaching it. A Wish (or hope, prayer,etc...) is something that you only have a certain amount of control over, the rest is up to God/Fate/Destiny/Luck... well, I don't know about you, but not being in the driver's seat makes me quite uncomfortable and apprehensive. Of course, there are things in life that no matter how hard or how much you want it, it's out of your hands... and, those dreams/wishes/hopes/prayers may or may not come true. However, a resolution is absolutely something that can come true! Because I have total control! It's all up to me! And, therefore, there is absolutely no excuse for me, or anyone, to not achieve their New Year's Resolutions!
Therefore, I have no doubt that I WILL LOSE WEIGHT!! I WILL FIND A BETTER PAYING JOB THAT I WILL BE HAPPY WITH! I WILL BUY A CAR THAT HAS BEEN MADE IN THE 21st CENTURY! Now, it's just the matter of planning on my part, taking the proper steps, and DOING IT!!!
So, my weight loss plan is this... I know that I need to really up the exercise, no excuses! So, with the help of two of my best friends, My Nazi Gym partner and my Bride-to-Be, I will be exercising 6 days a week. My Nazi Gym Partner wants me to do 45 minutes of cardio twice a day (which is equivalent to 600 calories burned)!! And on days that we go to the gym and lift weights, I only have to do the one cardio session. Now, I don't know what you are thinking, but that is a hell-of-a-lot of cardio. 1200 calories burned each day!! I pretty much told her that she is snorting some hard-ass crack, but she didn't laugh. Well, I thought long and hard how I was going to be able to do this, and it just so happened that luck paid me a visit. I was afraid that I would have to get my fat ass up at 5am to go to the gym, but a friend of mine decided that same week to sell her practically brand new (only used three times ever) Nordic Track Elliptical machine on Facebook! I jumped right on top of that! A $1200 Awesome Elliptical sitting right next to my bed was EXACTLY what I needed! And I got such an amazing deal on it, she sold it to me for $400 cash!! SOLD BABY!! I paid her that Friday, and had the guys from work in the shipping department pick it up and deliver it to my apartment the very next week!! And, I LOVE IT!! It is so convenient and so smooth and comfortable on my knees and joints! So... exercise problem solved!! I have had the elliptical set up and plugged in my bedroom for about a month and I have yet to work up to twice a day, but I have used it on average of 3-4 a week (minus that one week where I was stupendously sick). On top of that, my Nazi gym partner and I weight lift at the gym (and she really kicks my ass each time) two nights a week. The other nights I go home and jump on my elliptical. I just need to get myself in gear and wake up early enough to do the same before work! I'm getting there.. no excuses.. just slowly progressing!
Also, as of last night, my Bride-to-Be best friend came over last night and put some extra pressure on me for losing weight, too! She's getting married at the end of June, and I am her Maid of Honor! Well, I know she would never, ever tell me directly and insensitively, but I know she wants me to lose weight so she doesn't have a fat MOH. Now, don't get me wrong.. she's not so superficial like that, but the back-story to this is that the two girls who were bridesmaid and Maid of Honor before me ARE total superficial, insensitive, bitches who DID make fun of me and judged me HORRIBLY a few years back because I wasn't a size 2 like them. So, knowing that these f***ing biznatches will be at this wedding, I'm sure my Bride-to-Be best friend is pressuring me to workout with her and lose weight and look good for my protection and also, to help me and support me, so I can show those biznatches up at the wedding!! And I TRULY WANT TO SHOW THESE BITCHES UP, TOO!!
So, extra, EXTRA pressure to hit my goal! And, what is this goal? 50 to 60 pounds by June 25th. My Nazi gym partner says I should aim for 3 pounds a week, 4 weeks a month for the next 5 months is actually 60 pounds, but to not overwhelm myself too much, I am good with 50 pounds by that day. And I know it's not going to be easy. It has never been easy. But I really, REALLY don't want to let my Bride-to-be friend down. I don't want to let my Nazi Gym partner down. I don't want to let myself down!!!
So, 50-60 pounds in 5 months... how much will I weigh at that point? I will sadly, and disappointedly admit that I am now at 235 pounds, so by June 25th, I WILL and BETTER weigh approximately 175-185 pounds. Yep, I gained some weight over the Holidays! I'm not proud of it, not at all. I look at myself in the mirror and I want to cry so loud. I almost gained ALL my weight back that I lost in 2007. But, I've cried, and moped and moaned and festered over it enough! Time to make it happen!!
Okay, so the exercise problem is solved! Now for the dieting! *UGH* I do work for a weight loss company, so I really don't have any feasible excuse. Yes, money is super tight right now (and all the time), but I can't wait for money to fall in my lap to buy all the good groceries.. I just have to make due with what little bit I got!!
That HCG stuff I bought from a friend back in November/December – Total crap I think! It's not the HCG that makes you lose weight, it's the 500-800 calories a day that makes you lose weight! So, I'm going back to the Lindora program. It's the only diet program I can rely on. It's just the matter of relying on myself to do it and do it right and not deviate from it! I bought all the basic necessities just last night, so today was my first day.. and my last day of weighing this much!! I vow, for REAL now, that I will NEVER weight 235 pounds or more EVER again!! NEVER, NEVER! And all you blog followers.. you are my witnesses!! I just can't fail again! I'm tired of being a failure!
And, that's my renewed New Year's Resolution and Plan of Action.
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