Motivation

So, I figured it would be a good idea to talk about motivation. Weight loss is definitely not just about food and exercise. Half the battle is in the mind. It's the mind that keeps you focused, and reminds you of the reasons why you want to lose weight. The mind is what motivates you and analyzes the good choices from the okay choices to the best choices.

Now, when it comes to motivation, I most definitely believe that everyone's is different. Not all motivations work for everyone. Each person is unique and different, therefore, each person's motivations are unique. So, my motivations are:

1. To feel better and have confidence in myself, no matter what I wear
2. I want to WANT to wear a pair of jeans and feel good in them
3. To wear a dress WITHOUT needing to wear nylons or tights
4. To get a date/a boyfriend
5. I don't want to be the fat sister anymore
6. I don't want to be the unmarried and childless sister anymore
7. "Thin Thirties"
8. A sexy photo shoot once I reach my goal
9. My little black dress
10. My Acting/Modeling dream

So, yes, some of these may sound silly to some of you, but they are important to me. It just so happens that I have dabbled in acting and modeling, but I was always chicken shit to take the next steps in auditioning and getting an agent or manager because I was insecure about my weight. I didn't want to have to hear the same rejection over and over again (if only you were thinner).. I got enough of that when I was in college at CSU Fullerton theatre and dance department. And I know some of you may be thinking, "You shouldn't lose weight to catch a man" and I agree; however, I am a realist as well. I do live in superficial Southern California, and unfortunately, don't have any means to live anywhere else at the moment, so a girl has to play with the cards she is dealt!

As for the jeans, don't laugh, but I hate wearing jeans. I know, it's unheard of for someone to hate to wear jeans, but I do. I can't stand how tight and restrictive they are on me. I can't stand the fit (and I've tried a million different styles and name brands) but because of my size and shape, I don't feel comfortable wearing a pair of jeans. I have a muffin top, camel toe and squished butt every time. No thank you! Now, if I lost weight, perhaps jeans wouldn't be so difficult for me to wear... who knows?

So, the 10 motivations I listed, if you haven't noticed are more of a long-term, overall motivations. There are also some motivations that I like to call deadline motivations. These are short-term goals with a quick deadline. As an example, here are some of mine...

1. Black Robot Concert at the Viper Room, September 24th
2. Jennifer & Jason's joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party, October 2nd
4. Halloween (want to wear a cute, sexy outfit) October 31st
3. Jennifer and Jason's wedding, November 6th
4. My 31st Birthday, November 10th

So, as you can see, I have a few events on the calendar that are in the next couple months that I can focus on and can give me a sense of urgency and place a little more importance and emphasis on my weight loss. These deadline motivations actually do help me... I tend to do well, and even better, when I am under pressure.

What I have noticed when it comes to motivations, is that they change and have levels of effectiveness. Some motivations just aren't strong enough. You really have to dig deep inside yourself and figure out what it is that really, REALLY is important to you and inspires you mentally, physically and emotionally.

See, for me, I really am tired of being the fat, unmarried sister. I love my family very, very much, but every freakin' time I go to a little kid birthday party, or a baby shower or a holiday party, I hear the same damn question over and over and it makes me sick!! "Chandra, when is it your turn to get married? Chandra, when are we going to be giving you a baby shower?" ARG!!! I don't know people!! Please STOP asking me!! Sheesh!! I know they mean well, but good God, don't they understand it's annoying and a bit painful to hear. It reminds me of the 2nd Bridget Jones Diary movie, there is a woman that every time when she talks to Bridget, she is indirectly insulting Bridgett, like being stung by a jelly fish! Well, that's how I feel every time I am asked when am I going to get married and going to have children of my own. Jellyfish! Jellyfish! Jellyfish!!

I really am tired of being the fat sister. I've been the fat sister my entire life. I got all the big parts and my sister got all the little parts. I mean, I like my big boobs and big butt, and thank you J.Lo and Kim Kardashian for paving the way for big booty bitches like myself.. but I can be smaller, slimmer, and healthier. I can still be voluptuous without having to be a size 16/18. I mean, T & A is in my DNA... that's not going to change no matter what size I am.

One other thing, I absolutely believe that a person really needs to like themselves and have some self-appreciation and happiness for who they are. It's one thing to love who you are and just wanting to better yourself; it's an entirely different matter if a person is losing weight because they hate their body and hate who they are and are utterly depressed. That is not a good way to start out. Losing weight is really hard and it's that pride and appreciation and self-confidence and positive mindset that is going to really help get you through... if you don't have that positive mindset as a foundation, losing weight will be that much harder! Remember, you are the one who has to live with you forever. It's not the outside of a person who makes a person wonderful and special and lovable, it's the person inside the body. Losing weight will not change your world automatically.. Yes, you will be thinner, but losing weight doesn't guarantee a hoard of men will just start lining up to date you; or a dozen new job opportunities will come your way... it's what you do with yourself and how you look at the world that makes the difference. Your mind is a very powerful tool. Staying positive and having a good outlook and mindset makes a HUGE difference!!