So, today is officially Day 1 of Week 3 on the program, and I am down a "whopping" 6.4 pounds... for a weigh in of 218.0!
Good God, this is so hard and it takes SO FREAKIN' LONG to get the damn weight off.. Only 1.4 pounds lost for week 2...Good in restrospect, but NOT GREAT!!
So, if you haven't guessed, I am GRUMPY and CRANKY dwarf right now. I'm hungry ALL the damn time! I mean, I know the first two weeks are pretty difficult, basically because your body and mind are adjusting to such a drastic change.. but c'mon!!!
Okay, enough bitching.. it doesn't do anyone any good.
Well, it's not easy my friends, that is for sure. But, what do you do? You bitch and moan and complain and keep on it.. the bitchiness has to go away eventually right?
Actually, I remember reading somewhere that a dieter in ketosis is supposed to have an elevated mood? Well, I would say WTF!?! why isn't my mood elevated? But I already know the answer to that.. I'm hardly, if any, in ketosis.. my pee sticks barely show any color.. sometimes I wonder if it's just my eyes playing tricks on me. *sigh*
Well, tonight is supposed to be workout night with best friend, who usually kicks my ass at the gym, which in turn, I am exhausted, which is good since I need to get this aggression and grumpiness out of me, but then I am super sore the next day, which means I will see that on the scale because my muscles are bloated with lactic acid, recovering from being overworked, which means more on the scale, blah, blah, etc...
It's a ridiculous ride to take, that's for damn sure!! God, I hate dieting!! HATE IT!! It's so tough, and miserable, and tough!! And I'm so fucking poor (oops, sorry, excuse my french please) that I am super limited on what I can eat.. I have very little in the fridge at home, and I am TRYING WITH ALL MY MIGHT to not even look at the 12 pack of Miller Lite screaming my name in there.. I'm afraid to eat a freakin' nectarine because there are so many carbs in just one small one... I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT SCALE NUMBER GO UP!! It makes me so irritable and discouraged! But, shit! I feel empty all the damn time.. is this what waif super models feel like every day?
Okay, I need to focus.. I need to stay positive.. this is where the positive mind set comes in.. mind over matter, right?
Tomorrow is pay day, but I maybe get $100 of 'play money' for the next two weeks... Damn, why couldn't I have been one of those naturally thin girls with rich boyfriends/husbands that get gourmet meals and don't ever have to make the tough decision of "Top Ramen for $.49 or a $1.50 hot dog from Costco?" ... (I opted for the hot dog and only ate half the bun.. some protein is better than none).
I am at a fork in the proverbial road.. the decisions I make tonight can help me or hinder me and tomorrow's weigh in. So, what do I do to "LIFT ME UP" ??? Well, I could listen to Josh Grobin sing it, but that would probably just add to the irritation.. I guess I'll suck it up, try and remember my short term deadline goals (Friend's engagement party and wedding with SUPER CUTE guy), and tire the hell out of myself at the gym.. I just HAVE to be down tomorrow.. I HAVE TO!! UGH!!
Wish me luck, please.. I need it!
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